we're just not that into him...

Disclaimer: im not a man hater. the thoughts expressed in this post are based on my own research in a particular phase in my life. i can totally do a turn around on any and everything mentioned here at any given date.

for all excited single girls...this is what is out there:

# THE OLDER MAN
he thinks he owns you...just by virtue of arriving in this world a few years earlier. we may as well have handed over our emotional remote control to him...cos he is now here in our lives to tell us how to live it. he is more experienced you see!

# THE YOUNGER MAN
he is too heavily under the influence of "the graduate". someone needs to gently break it to him that not all older women are running mrs robinson's sex-ed classes please!

# THE GOOD LOOKING MAN
going out with him is like being on a community date. cos he maybe sitting with you but he will be practically coming on to the entire room. anyone who happens to merely glance distractedly in his direction immediately gets labelled "an adoring fan"...believe me if ive to sit across someone preening the whole time...id much rather sit in front of the mirror at home doing my nails and drinking beer!

# THE UGLY MAN
okay a quick show of hands...and tell me who wants to go out with the ugly man?! i know its 'wrong' of me to say this...but lets accept the fact that while u dont have to be the next brad pitt...looks DO matter a little bit. if im revolted by what i see on the outside...there are very little chances that il hang around long enuff to see whats inside!

# THE RICH MAN
ooooo now this one is tricky. since our patriarchal setup has instilled in us that the man should be better placed in life than us...if he is TOO well placed chances are you can kiss your any and every decision making goodbye. everything is measured in terms of money and success and if uve seen 3 idiots u know what im trying to say....and girls it IS true.

# THE POOR MAN
if he ticks all the other boxes ud think he'd show promise. but beware girls. not to sound like a gold-digger or anything but he too is avoidable. especially since more than you he is concerned about his place in the relationship. and OMG his whine can even beat technology and come hit you in waves on texts and emails about how he is a failure. so going out with him.....all you'll end up with....is a huge bill...constantly putting yourself down for his benefit and hours of needless ego-stroking!

# THE OVER-EAGRE MAN
he is the worst. practically drooling and waiting for you to say jump and he will reply...how high?! aaaghhhhh

# THE ONE WITH MIND-GAMES
he likes and checks all the right boxes but watch out girls...cos going out with him is a mental exercise. he wants to keep you guessing till the very end so he will bombard you with mixed signals...if we wanted that much exercise we'd put in the new video game on ps3.

# THE EMOTIONAL MAN
he is the one who wants to get to know you...the real you. he wants to talk about you...about feelings...about thoughts...about likes dislikes everything...ALL the time. its like od-ing on emotional chow chow. if i wanted myself psycho-analysed that badly...frankly id much rather pay for it and lay on a professional's couch!

# THE INTELLIGENT MAN
ud think he'd be gods gift...but hello! his conversations are littered with the who's who of anything and everything...bombarding u with fcts and figures....from scientific equations to mathematical theorams...to why jazz music was considered inappropriate to the history of the finest single malt...all very exciting subjects...if only he had the gift of story telling as well. so all his accounts will slowly numb even the most alert brains and u really will have no escape.

# THE ONE YOU LIKE
he is the one who IS gods gift. he is intelligent...smart...funny...well read...interested in music...wil hang onto ur every word...tell u how smart cool and funny you are and mean it. and just when ul blush and lay ur hand over his...heart beating so loud ur sure he could hear it....he'll cover ur hand with his and smile and say:
"the girl i eventually fall for...i just hope she likes you. cos not liking my best friend could be a problem."


so girls if we gotta eat our hearts out....atleast lets do it in style. throw in that gloria gaynor cd....with a beer in hand...and lets shake to "i will survive..." cos thats what life eventually boils down to...doesnt it?

most of us eventiually will end up with one of the above mentioned kinds...some happy some not so much...but atleast we'll have friends we can laugh and cry about it with.

so here's to my best friend...you know what im trying to say through this very long post...very very inarticulately...i love you and we will survive.

xoxo


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