"freedom" and more....

*PRESENT DAY*

of all the rotten luck to run into someone guaranteed to make me feel like a complete loser.
the worst part: i didnt even remember him!
that too on a day...i thought i was on top of the world.
grrrr....

the universe has been conspiring against me for a long time.
but this was open war.

*FLASHBACK*

the first time id met him was...in 2004 i think.
i cant even remember clearly.
i just remember that was the time saroj REALLY wanted me to get married and was trying every trick in the book.
she'd put a matrimonial advertisement out for me.
yes, it happened.
can you imagine how many deaths i used to die everytime my family joked about the "responses" i was getting?!

he was one of the fools who'd answered and under duress and several fights with saroj later...id gone to "meet" him!
yes, id sunk that low.
as i sipped my coffee and pretended to be interested in EVERYTHING around me except the moron sitting in front of me...i could feel his eyes sizing me up.

i hated his smirk.
afterall who did he think he was?
i was the cool journalist and he was just some random dumb-ass MBA!
but patriarchy teaches us that i could have been goddamn godzilla;s friggin sister and it wouldnt have made a difference.
he would still have asked me about my salary and my "open-mindedness"!!

finally...really irritated id asked him what he did for a living.
now get a load of this..
"i sell freedom to women." he said.
is he trying to be cool and poetic...i thought to myself.
"excuse me?" i said.
"what does freedom mean to you?" he asked me cockily.
"listen, im just a dumb-ass journo so lets not waste time cos i got work to do. why dont you make it easier on everyone and just tell me." i snapped.

for the rest of my life il never forget what happened next.
he just leaned back (well as much you can lean on stupid uncomfortable barista chairs!) and smiled.

"im the head of marketing for "whisper"...the sanitary pads....for all of north india. so essentially i sell freedom to women."
(the smile grew bigger)

there was so much loud clunking in my head as i ran...im not even sure if i paid for my coffee.
apparently i mumbled something to him that could have been "my mother has gone mad" or "you have gone mad."

i came home...shouted at saroj...joked about it with my girlfriends...laughed till i cried at the absurdity of the situation and forgot all about it.
i mean imagine a cool cat like me married to a moron like him!!
i mean....really!

*CUT TO PRESENT DAY*

out celebrating with my friends...the fact that my divorce has FINALLY come through.
im free as a bird...ready to fly again.
and in the mad crush of the club who do i bump into?
ya...its him.
he shouts my name.

i smile and look closely trying to place him.
he says "im the guy who was selling freedom....only you didnt want any!"
normally i have a very expressive face.
its the bane of my existence...never being able to hide my feelings.
but thankfully for once, i was blank.

he pushed the girl next to him towards me.
"that's my wife. we've been married for 4 years. we have a son. he is home with grandparents as his parents get drunk." he went on and on..
"thats great" i mumbled.
"so, what about you?" he looked questioningly at me.

i struggled.
believe me i did.
struggled to tell the truth.
but finally i decided id taken one hit too many...this year.
so i smiled and said "freedom's great. i got some of it for myself too."
and before more questions came flying...i wished them well and ran.
i figured he never needed to know the irony about my freedom.

i dont think im a coward.
but sometimes i do wonder about life's choices. atleast the ones that ive made.

maybe il get saroj to put in another ad for me.
the one that will talk about how beautiful, open minded and friendly i am.
"put in well travelled also." my sister will insert the obvious joke.

or there is another alternative.
this city has just way too many reminders of my flawed and decidely crazy past.
so i think i may have to move.


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