A new beginning...

I have decided to be more regular at blogging from now on.
And a new beginning needs new ideas, a new approach and most importantly a new address.

I can still be reached at iamakatiegirl@gmail.com

Thanks for reading and all your feedback.



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Romeo and I ....

I've gotten enough grief about how how addicted I am to my Romeo, but I dont care. There is just sooo much more we have to say to each other!







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boundaries...

कई बार यूँ भी देखा है,
ये जो मन की सीमा रेखा है, मन तोड़ने लगता है....
अनजानी प्यास के पीछे,
एक अनजानी आस के पीछे, मन दौड़ने लगता है....

- योगेश




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the PING in my heart...

i know everyone feels that their story is different.
ours may not be the most romantic, but its certainly interesting.
atleast i think so.
i wish i could tell you that it was love at first sight.
i wish i could say that there were violins and rose-petal showers.
but when Romeo and i were first introduced by a common friend, i didnt even like him.

yes pls meet Romeo, my plus one.
i always scoff at all things romantic and love-ly.
but in the last 2 months that we've been together, i know its love.
what else can feel so wonderful, so warm?!
ur probably gonna laugh but sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night to count my blessings that i found Romeo.

i know some people think that we wont last.
but hey who cares about longevity when you've got intensity to focus on.
btw he isnt too thrilled about my name for him : Romeo.
but as i tell him, he has no choice in the matter :)

we've not planned anything special for valentine's day.
for us, every day that are together and in love is special.
maybe tomorrow il tell you "our story".
make the day even more special, by sharing our love with others.

till then, a song for my beloved on the day of love <3







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बस यूँ ही ... (just like that)

- Suresh Wadkar singing Shahryar's poetry in the film 'Gaman"





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revisiting melody...

if i like a song, i mean really, really like a song, i listen to it over and over again.
10 times, a 100 times, a 1000 times.
until i know every word, every nuance and understand every meaning of the lyrics.
it may sound crazy and obsessive but i just feel more connected to the song.
and as strange as it may sound, i ALWAYS remember the feeling of hearing that song for the first time.

someone just reminded me of one of my favorite songs from almost a lifetime ago.
the film was 'daddy'.
the song was 'aaina mujhse meri pehli si soorat maange' (the mirror asks me to be the same ol' person i once was..)
a drunk, haggard looking Anupam Kher's character, a well known singer singing after years on stage.
but really, asking for his daughter's forgiveness for everything that went wrong in her life, because of him.

i remember i was very young then. very serious. everything bothered me.
i remember lying on the floor listening to it, rewinding the cassette again and again to that song.
i remember it was a very small, dark, hot room.
i remember the water cooler trying to cool the room. we didn't have an air-conditioner then.
i remember drinking 'aam panna' (mango drink with mint leaves). ice clinking in the glass.
i remember feeling the melancholy of the song.

after many many years, just listened to it again on my laptop.
im not so young anymore. wiser now, to not let anything affect me much.
lying on my comfortable futon, the laptop set on replay mode to that song.
its a really big room, bright sunlight streaming into it, cool breeze making it almost romantic.
the drink has changed.

only the melancholy remains the same.





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its all about money, honey...

an argument between two friends about what's more important in life: lauuu or money?!
now this was a very tough one for me...since i dont think either brings happiness.
so it was one of those rare moments...where i was sitting on the fence!
normally im too opinionated for my own good. (or so says zeus)

the person in favor of lauuu...gave this long winding speech about caring, sharing .. blah blah blah...which frankly only sounds sweet on the miss universe podium being given by a forever-teen-something giraffe who weighs less than 50 pounds!!
the guy giving the speech wrapped up his very lonnng and very boring argument by saying how a hug and a kiss from someone u lauuu or who lauus u can take away all the pain of life?!

i know..i know.
i was ready to throw up too!
but the other person just sealed the debate with one line...atleast for me.
"that's great and everything but have you ever tried paying bills with a hug?"
hahahahahahahahahahahaha im still rolling on the floor

as he summed up his argument in the second line,
"dude, its a no contest."






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original is gold, but...

...there are some exceptions even to this rule.
now id told you a million years ago that i absolutely LOVEEE bollywood.
but more than that i LOVEEE bollywood music.
its so dramatic, larger than life and really can describe practically each and every feeling, emotion you've ever experienced in life!!
yup, you name a feeling, a situation and voila! we have a song :)

i love it all.
old music, new music. romantic songs, sad one, dances, cabarets, mujras everything.
what i dont like are REMIXES. they almost always ruin beautiful compositions.
but in the last couple of years, ive been doing a quick rethink on that theory.

here are some, which ive really really come to love.

1. THIS one is my absolute fav. THis song is guaranteed to improve my mood no matter what. oh and i must confess, i absolutely hated the original of this song...but it may have something to do with the fact that annoying babita (karishma n kareena kapoors mother!) starred in it...and in effect ruined the song for me.





2. i liked the original as well sung by legendary mukesh, but in this version from 'namesake' susheela raman's voice takes you to another world altogether...a hypnotic trance that you never wanna come out of.





3. this one is the most interesting in the list, i think. kishore kumar, the man i worship..had simply rocked the original version. great lyrics, all the right beats and kishore's magical voice...not a note was out of tune. and yet somehow without changing too much nitin bali...who is not even a great singer gave this smashing song. sometimes i think he chose the song well..thats it. perhaps u agree?!





4. Bombay Vikings, what can i say...they've taken a very beautiful song and turned it into something completely different and even more beautiful. Im so glad that Neeraj Shridhar, the lead singer from the Bombay Vikings is now creating 'original' magic in bollywood.





5. in the original its a sweet laid-back beautiful song again sung by mukesh...which gets completely transformed by energetic anamika. im no really sure WHAT i like in this new version...but for some inexplicable reason, i do.





6. Now in this one...its the same original composition...they've just re-filmed it. And thank god they did. Now ul say...its the same song?! Only those who've seen the original will know why I chose to put it here. The original picturisation KILLED the song piece by piece, note by note. not to mention the ugly actors..raj kiran and shoma anand for cryin out loud!!! I mean just look at this beautiful man. sigh.




you know in remixes....its not just about a faster pacier beat...which let's face it...sometimes just ruins the songs and more than that...the whole mood of the song. after all not all songs can be in the same peppy mood...now can they?!

let me know ur thoughts on this whole business of remixes. oh and pls share if you can think of any other great ones!


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what can i say...

be very careful of what u wish for. u just might get it.
yup, a cliche. but it's true.
2010 was supposed to be the year of the wild child.
well...atleast that's what id said to my friends...as a joke.
little did i know that that's how the year will turn out.

i did more uncharacterstic things in 2010 than at any other time in my life.
some im happy about, some not so much.
but all in all i think 2010 was a year that in many ways has laid the foundation for the rest of my life.
i don't even know what it means except that i can just feel it in my heart.
all i know is that i've changed as a person. for the better, u ask? hah! who knows...

but now in 2011, i hope to take a chance on myself.
its not as crazy as it sounds. its crazier.
how often do we become slaves to our jobs, that many of us don't even like?
a strict regimented life where it becomes essential to check all the right boxes, that supposedly grade us on the "success scale"?!

nah, don't get me wrong.
like everyone else, i too want a grreaat job. the best in the world.
but not one where il be a slave to it.
yes, i want great successes, decent money and lots of fun.
but nobody gets everything and that's why we prioritise, don't we?
job, money, house, car, more money, husband/wife, kids, more and more money, isn't that the order?

well recently it was pointed out to me, that all fun had gone out of my life.
i was also chasing all the above mentioned things. well some of them anyway.
but when i prioritised i realised my top of the list was happiness.
real happiness that comes with doing things i like, not necessarily that make me a mover n shaker!

so here's to happier times in 2011, doing stupid, crazy things but always having fun.
my bestest friend and i have a new deal with life.
"kuch bhi ho jaaye yahan bass khush rehna hai..."
(no matter what happens in life, we always have to be happy..)

thank you zeus, your advice has been heeded.
no more making plans but just going with the flow and being open to everything without prejudices.
all with an eye on a better, happier future :)






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dressed for success but not for travel...

travelling is an artform. ya it is.
u remember seeing that cool guy/girl at the waiting lounge, just reading a book without a care in the world?
the one who always looks fresh and never like the rest of us mere mortals struggling with 400 things at the same time just to make our flight on time?!

well...being cool is an attitude that ur born with. but hopefully some of these tips will make us better travellers:

- do NOT dress according to the weather ever!

if u think its summers and so uve dressed in a vest and shorts...the smarty-pants (officials!) are guaranteed to freeze ur ass off at the airport and on the plane. For God's sake...just cos its 90 degree fahrenheit outside, doesnt mean everyone inside is craving sub zero temperatures!

and heaven forbid if its cold outside. PLEASE i beg of u, just wear a t-shirt n carry a light jacket even of its bloody snowing outside. cos the minute ul wear a turtleneck under ur t-shirt along with a woollen scarf and a thick jacket...that's when they'll start turning the thermostat to high until it breaks!

Even if you HAVE to wear layers...just cos its so cold...pls again i beg of u! do NOT wear them UNDER ur t-shirt. otherwise there will come a time when ul wanna RIP YOUR OWN CLOTHES OFF and damn the consequences. believe me, i speak from experience. officials at shanghai airport almost had to rush assistance in my direction cos i was gonna pass out due to hot flashes!!!

- do NOT wear boots, bandanas

oh yeah sure, they look great they are super comfortable and u really wanna wear them. boots are the bane of air-travel. in America u have to take off your shoes anyway, so its ok but believe me anywhere else...the damn boots dont stop beeping at metal detectors, if they havent already pulled u aside ie! avoid the bandanas too...especially if you have piercings..even if its a tiny one on the nose. they will let the narcotics dogs sniff u till kingdom come...believe u me!!!

- do NOT be oversmart with ur hand luggage.

take it from me, its best to just dump it all in check-in luggage and PAY for it, rather than carry the weight of a dead body (literally!) on ur back across airports. and if ur luck is anything like mine....believe me ur boarding gate is going to be in the furthest corner of the airport and ya good luck trying to get that trolley!





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sun, sand and songs...

i was born in a small town surrounded by the mountains...next to a lake.
i grew up in the city (in the plains! as everyone calls it) but i pride myself on being a mountain girl through and through.
i love the mountains. i do.
they just speak a very different language. the language of solitude.
i always crib about the cold and then long to go on walks by the lake.
i hate it when my feet are killing me cos of the long walks and are frozen.
yet a steaming cup of coffee by the fire and all is forgotten.
yup, i love my mountains.

but this year in 2011 i really want a PUURRRRFECT beach holiday.
there will be sun, white sand, and lots and lots of beer.
there will be bonfire, a hammock and great music.
so i dont have any resolutions. i have a goal.

and here's the song constantly pushing me towards making this holiday happen.






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tripping over neruda...

for someone who doesnt believe in lauuu (i hate to even say the word) to begin with, it may only seem ironical that i absolutely lauuu neruda's 'love sonnets n poems'. there is just something about the way he wrote...so heartfelt and pure of emotion.

i dont think the lauu that neruda wrote about, exists.
even if someone may have convinced themselves that it does, i think its usually shortlived.

but in 2011, i hope il spend more time looking for lauu and finding this lauuu.
lauuu, that can now only exist in the imagination of poets and writers.
so here's to a new year, hopefully filled with beautiful poems and great stories.

here, sharing one of my most fav neruda poems.

cheersss


I don't love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,
or arrow of carnations that propogate fire:
I love you as one loves certain obscure things,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom but carries the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,
and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose
from the earth lives dimly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you directly without problems or pride:
I love you like this because I don't know any other way
to love,
except in this form in which I am not nor are you,
so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,
so close that your eyes close with my dreams.

- pablo neruda

mama, im coming home...

i lived very close to the city of dreams, dreams that are coming true for every fourth if not the second person.
i still hope that very soon, one day...im gonna be that fourth person.
till then...yup it's been a great almost-one-year.

i think its just the relaxed vibe of laid-back california that i may have fallen in lauuu with.
most mornings i used to ride my bike to work.
it was a beautiful ride along the golf course and a small lake, in the midst of a valley.
my helmet on, my backpack behind me, everyday i waved to the four boys who live in the block next to mine.
we crossed each other every morning, as they went to get breakfast.
i dont know their names since i never stopped to talk to them but waving was part of our routine.
the lady next door was usually out too...walking her dog. she didn't speak much english but i lauu her enthusiastic 'goooood morning'.
yup, everyone is relaxed and very very friendly here.

if it was a specially breezy morning, i would sometimes stop to hv a large coffee.
my other favorite was the carrot juice from 'jamba juice'!
blueberry muffins...yummm.
my favorite thing on the weekends was to go sit at 'borders' and just read or browse for hours.
in the gazebo next to the theatre, they had jazz evenings on most weekends.
btw i lauuu jazz.

most people hate doing laundry. i lauu it.
i lauuu the fresh smell and the warm feel of clothes as they come out of the dryer.
u may think im crazy but i even lauu vaccuming.
i may be in a long term relationship with Macy's and Abercrombie n Fitch.

i was lucky to have the worlds best room-mates!
i NEVER felt like i was renting a room from them, they are now family.
so many new friends...so many new experiences....yup life here in not-always-so-sunny california has been GREAT.

im really gonna miss it. miss my friends, miss my life here.
i hope im gonna be back very very soon.
but i would be lying if i said that i wasnt excited about going back.
in many ways i think, california and the life here has changed me.
i feel more relaxed, more open to adventures of life, which i wasnt earlier.
im not sure what im gonna do next.
for the first time in my life, i dont have a plan.
and really for the very first time, i dont give a shit. im not scared about not having a plan.

right now there is only one thing, one thought in my mind.
mama, im coming home....




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going with the flow...

apni marzi se kahan apne safar ke hum hain
rukh hawaaon ka jidhar ka hai, udhar ke hum hain

waqt ke saath hai mitti ka safar sadiyon se
kisko maalomm kahan ke hain, kidhar ke hum hain

chalte rehte hain ki chalna hai musafir ka naseeb
sochte rehte hain kis raah guzar ke hum hain



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keep ur panties on...pliss!

i know, i know. ive gotten really lazy with my blog.
sometimes i start writing and then get bored and leave it midway.
which would expain why i have so many half-written posts in my mail.

but i just HAD to write about this.
here is my open letter for everyone.


dear all,
im planning to throw a party very soon.
yes, some of u will be invited. some of u wont.
for those of u who dont recive the invite, perhps u should jst be glad.

like all my parties, there will lots of drinks.
there will be loud music ad yes you may bring a friend.
u see, we really like rockin the town at these parties.
but this time there will be one exception.

anyone wanting to be a part of our revelry...pls be ready for a full body search before ur let in.
no im not alarmed about any terror threat.
its more complicated that that.

im sure by now we've all seen and heard the world go into a tizzy over yana gupta's...errr...wardrobe malfunction?
u see she was invited for a children's charity event.
she remembered to wear a very short dress but apparently forgot to wear underwear with it.

now ive no moral stance to take on what one can and cannot wear.
so im not even gonna get drawn into THAT debate.
but one aspect of the whole brouhaha, I must say has made my head spin.

apparently some guy in lucknow got very upset with this display of obscenity and has filed PILs against yana gupta, the photographer who clicked that pic AND THE ORGANISERS of the chaity event.
now i understand that he is very upset, wants the world to know...and some 'punishment' for yana and the photographer for contributing to that obscenity.
but HELLO?! the thirde one didnt make any sense to me.

a PIL against the event organisers?!!!?
im sorry...but they were just hosting a show for underprivileged kids and wanted celebrities for it. now if the invited guest...either forgets or simply doesnt want to wear...underwear...whats the bloody organiser supposed to do in this???
were they supposed to ask yana at the gate...of what she was wearing or not wearing?! duh....

seriously guys...u just cannot be too careful these days.
so next time im throwing a party...ALL of you...pliss keep ur panties on!
and as the organiser and host i shall reserve the right to check for myself..
hope you guys understand.

best
katie

ps: meanwhile im wondering who is the genius who came up with the pink star?! like really....




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maa tujhe salaam...

its a really hectic wednesday morning.
im running super late for work.
ride my bike real fast...can u get a ticket for speeding on a bike btw?!
hmmm...i wonder!

anyway, somehow reach work, all sweaty, irritated.
drink 2 glasses of water.
still panting! damn the flu and its lasting effects on my stamina.
suddenly the phone is ringing.
im fed up. let the voicemail get this one, i think to myself.

its ringing. ringing. yesss still ringing.
that means only one thing. its my mommieeee!
the phone will ring till i answer it.

i look at my watch. its 9:30 AM...which means 10pm back home.
im still panting ... btw!
answer the phone with a very breathles..errr HAAAALLO?

a very very cheerful saroj at the other end.
yeah, we call our mom by her first name! get over it.

Saroj: (real cheery) monaaa..what u doing?

Me: (irritated) im at the beach in my tiniest bikini sipping cosmopolitan just lounging around with johnny (depp)!!! what do u think im doing?!?!

Saroj: (if its possible even more cheerful) aaaaaa...say my hello to johnny and ask him..beta ghar kab aa rahe ho?!?!

BATAAO...she is my MOTHER in every which way!!!
maa tujhe salaaaam....

life's applecart...

life stumps us everyday.
just when we think we have it all figured out, one tiny little thing goes wrong and the apple-cart collapses.
aren't we all used to that?

but for me, just when im about to give up, something comes along to restore my faith.
it happens everytime.
im grateful for that.


"At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happyily ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.”
- Meredith Grey


but just in case it doesnt happen, have a refuge song ready.
Currently this one is mine!






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it echoes...

ive been away for a long time. too many changes happening too fast. im back now with lots to tell. over the weeks more on that...but for now something that has been echoing in my heart...

main jahan rahoon
main kahin bhi hoon
teri yaad saath hai
kissi se kahoon
ke nahi kahoon
ye jo dil ki baat hai..

kehne ko saath apne
ek duniya chalti hai
par chhup ke iss dil mein
tanhayee palti hai
bas yaad saath hai
teri yaad saath hai.



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saturday night fever...

it was time we got "wild" back.
the mellow-saturday-nights thing is really over-rated.
so this time jake and i got dolled up to go cruising men!
the thing is...it sounds so great when u say it.
but when ur out and about around town...its whole another story!
oh btw...we use the term "cruising" very losely...atleast in my case.
jake of course...goes all out.

now IM apparently waiting for eric dane to come save me from myself.
cos everywhere else i looked i thought i was part of a very bad soap.
a very bad soap where men are from some planet thats not even in our galaxy.
men will shout that its the same with women too.
but unfortunately im heterosexual and notice mostly men.

so whats with men and belts these days?
let me tell u its not serving the purpose its supposed to serve.
or is the ass SUPPOSED to hang out like that?
i think im really really old cos i just wanted to grab a few boys and tell them to pull their pants up and tuck their shirts in.

oh and whats with the silver colored ones?
every second man was wearing a shiny clunking silver belt.
it was a club for straight people, with women stuck to their arms like leeches.
mostly men, who to me were looking like greek gods gone horribly wrong.
very well sculpted bodies shown to full advantage in tight vests, sphagettis i swear, in some case...and big tattoos.
looking all dapper and thats when ul overhear them saying bhen**** in such a dirty accent im not even sure where its from.

jake says im too choosy.
i think...thank god for thaaat little mercy.
the only thing worse than this wud be a man with the golden belt.
and then i spotted him too.
black tight t-shirt, tighter (if its possible) blue jeans and a golden belt.
a BIG golden belt.

i needed air...so we went up to the terrace.
it was better.
we drank, we chatted and decided this yuppie nonsense was not for us.
we went to another club.
more grown up, less crowded, more fun.

each time i make eyes at a cute guy, turns out he likes jake.
my friend who is very handsome, super cool with some mean dance moves.
im lucky to have a friend like him.
he listens to me bitch about life in general, men in particular, all day long.
still believes in fairytales and pushes me towards ugly men.
and on saturday nights like this one...is just happy to 'hang out'.

life's good.
you know when it gets better?
when the DJ plays uff teri adaa...





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when wishes are horses...

i wanted to be the biggest star on broadway.
right after...id set up my own vineyard...
...between directing oscar winning films
based on my own booker winning books...
...alongwith travelling the globe.
and did i mention that i was mentored into this life by robert redford?
with johnny depp as my greatest love...
...and sachin tendulkar as my close personal friend???

well...
u can imagine why i stopped wishing a long time ago!

ups and downs are a part of life...i know that.
but everything takes a toll on you...doesnt it?
today if u ask me, i just want peace of mind and good music on my ipod.
id like to think that ive no regrets about the past.
but then also not much excitement about the future.
does that mean that ive become more cynical or just sensible?

the old katie...would hang onto every little thing no matter how insignificant.
which is why i think i have cupboards full of crap.
mailboxes overflowing with mails...that have NO meaning in the current context.
and ive got less than a month to sort it all out.

im supposed to begin a new journey soon.
completely different from my set life till now.
loony says very few people get that opportunity in life to begin again on a clean slate...so i should count my blessings.
but that means that everything else wil get left behind.
everything id held dear and close to me til now.

despite my i-care-a-damn attitude, i now know i fear that.
i hadnt even noticed it...til charlie pointed it out.
why do all your mails end with a tone of such finalty!
do you do that with everyone? he'd asked me.
in my bid to de-clutter life...id started to try and ease people out.
goodbyes are easier than long drawn out see-yous!

i try and avoid the il-see-u-in-a-million years endings now.
im moving to a new place...but i hope old ties wil remain.

after all...i may not have had a starring role on broadway yet..but jake and i hv given the performances of our lives at mannequin.
il think about that vineyard someday...but till then many a bottles to be shared with gyaani.
i may not get the booker for my blog but you guys read it. i know cos u shout at me for writing crap later.
i dont have robert redford but life has been my mentor...with gunther, loony, zoozoo, sam, gyaani, begum, jake, naz, jc and jt in lead roles as my close personal friends.
sorry but johnny im still holding out for :)

and yes charlie you can be my conscience keeper!




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